Sad Cat Diary


Dear diary, the authorities have removed the pair of black pants from the couch. There is no longer any place for me to sleep. I have vomited three times in protest but there is no sign that anything will change. My only other hope for rest is on the computer keyboard which is near by. But sadly no one is currently using it. I will wait. Dear diary, my food dish is now only half full. It is obvious that I will soon starve to death. I have repeatedly tried to draw attention to my predicament with the authorities but they are clearly either stupid, deaf, or just cruel. This may be my last entry. Dear diary, It has come to my attention that the authorities have two hands but seem to have made it the sadistic policy only to pet me with one of them at that time Half of love is just, lo- which is how I feel. My spirit is breaking. Dear diary, I have decided to plead with the authorities to rub my belly. I think it will do me good in my current condition I would like to receive two rubs exactly. A third one, and I will bite the shit out of them as per protocol. Wish me luck. Dear diary, the water dish continues to vex me. the authorities seem to taunt me with this cruel liquid that has neither smell nor distinguishing visual markings. A sad anniversary, this is the 900th day that my nose has been unintentionally wetted. Dear diary, yesterday I put in a simple request regarding the door to the garden but seemingly out of sheer spite the authorities refused to hold the door open long enough for me to decide whether to go outside or inside. or outside, or inside. Dear diary, the authorities have punished me for taking a crap on the living room floor. this despite my efforts to distribute the litter evenly throughout the house. I am convinced that they are mad men, devoid of reason. Dear diary, the squirrel was back again today. It mocks me. I will try and release my mind from this torment and groom myself. For four hours. Dear diary, I have been stalking an insect on the wall for the past three days now. All of my attempts to capture it have been thwarted. However today, on further inspection I found out that the insect was in fact a thumb tack. There is no logic in this place. Dear diary, it is three in the morning. The authorities have closed the door to the bedroom. I can only assume that they have forgotten about me and have left me here to die. as a last resort I will stand post for the rest of the night and sing the song of my people in hopes that they rescue me. Dear diary, when the authorities poop I have tried to poop in the bathtub litter box with them in a show of solidarity. I have yet to experience any gratitude. Dear diary, my attempts to destroy the terrible plant have all been for naught. somehow, almost as if by some evil magic, a new one has appeared in its place. I will have to start over now. Like Sisyphus, I am bound to hell.

100 thoughts on “Sad Cat Diary

  1. Be aware that some cats will no reason at all committ suscide even if it was loved very much and had a good life. Mine had one and all of sudden one day it stopped eating and drinking .

  2. Dear diary I'm fading fast got only 22 hours of sleep yesterday. Burning candle at both ends I'm in the middle. If I don't get more rest ninth life gone. Pray for me.

  3. this guy sounds just exactly like bob rundell, who does voice acting and audiobooks, now when I am trying to listen to a serious audiobook I keep waiting for some silliness to happen.

  4. This is my favorite of all your vids. I'm glad you're coming out with new ones but don't ever forget where you came from. Dear diary…..

  5. On a further note, when I have visited the
    small room, with all the plumbing, to
    relieve myself, one of my orange boys,
    would do the same thing, in the sink.

    steve

  6. This just showed up in my recommended and had my laughing. Then I read comments and it said he no longer posts….tell me it isn’t so.

  7. My cats diary: β€œDear Diary, I crapped in the food bowl, the human has refused to put food in it so I killed a beautiful bird and ripped its freaking butt out to present as tribute for food. It didn’t work. So I attempted to climb a tree, I failed, not at climbing the tree, but getting down. I screamed for at least 3 minutes. My human has come to get me, so I bit the shit out of him and smacked him for attempting to save me.”

  8. So stinkin' funny. My cat fits a few of those scenarios. Inside or outside… Removed the "towel" (her blanket) from the foot of the bed…long enough to wash it. OH…AND the food. If there is just one very tiny spot of the bottom of her bowl showing, she thinks she starving. She is EXTREMELY verbal too, down right demanding. None the less I love her so very much. ❀️ loved the video.

  9. Where is episode
    2 and 3 and 4 and 5 and 6 and 7 and 8 and 9 and 10 and 11 and 12 and 13 and 14 and 15 and 16 and 17 and 18 ?

  10. Holding the door open for 3 hrs to decide wether I want to go inside outside inside outside inside outside inside outside
    That is the realist shit ever heard

  11. New sad cat diary entry dear diary the Vietnamese Neighbors are willing to play with me at their house

  12. man.. the cats growing as attorney give them some authority and some advice to how prevent s of being lazy..πŸ˜‚

  13. Dear Diary. I made a great effort today to catch a small mouse. It took an hour. I wanted to show the authorities my trophy and let them see I am willing to carry my own weight around here and provide food.

    Alas, they took my hard-won trophy and placed it in the garbage. It’s just like the hairballs I give… they appreciate nothing I do

  14. Great goodness are you Einsteins of humor? I love your nature videos just as much. I hope you didn't have to pay for those wonderful pictures. Think of all of the talented owners holding their breath if you ask for some photos of their babies. I am sure you would be swamped with 1 cat photo limit per address. I can't take a photo if my life depended on it. I so enjoyed this. I was hysterically laughing. I am off to your history to look for more. All my love.

  15. I remember the day this came out and still to this day like Sisyphus I am Bound To Hell it's one of my favorite quotes thank you good sir

  16. Dear diary, today I attempted to deny passage to the mutt in the hall way for entertainment. The authorities have once again removed me from my post and let the mutt through. I shall ruin the nearest couch as due protocol.

  17. So that's how cats think. If only I had known.πŸ˜ΌπŸ˜ΈπŸ˜ΊπŸ˜ΉπŸ˜ΎπŸ˜ΏπŸ™€πŸ˜½πŸ˜œ

  18. My cat just bit me the other day after I’d been petting him for 15 minutes, and I’ve had him for 12 years! LoL! I guess he’d had enough, but he should just get up and go away. I suppose that he doesn’t feel the same thing! LoL! πŸ˜†πŸ˜†

  19. πŸ˜‘πŸ˜’πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜ŸπŸ˜ŸπŸ˜ŸπŸ˜ŸπŸ˜ŸπŸ˜ŒπŸ˜ŒπŸ˜ŸπŸ˜ŒπŸ˜ŸπŸ˜ŒπŸ˜ŸπŸ˜ŸπŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜ŸπŸ˜­πŸ˜ŸπŸ˜­πŸ˜ŸπŸ˜­πŸ˜ŸπŸ˜­πŸ˜ŸπŸ˜ŸπŸ˜­πŸ˜ŸπŸ˜­πŸ˜ŸπŸ˜­πŸ˜ŸπŸ˜­πŸ˜ŸπŸ˜­πŸ˜ŸπŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜ŸπŸ˜ŸπŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­

  20. You could not finnish this video, cause I started hyperventilating of laughing too hard. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ Not kidding actually. 😭😭
    I am fine now though! πŸ˜…πŸ˜

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